


Lifeline

by JJGirl911



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-11-28 08:08:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20963270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJGirl911/pseuds/JJGirl911
Summary: After the water receded out to the ocean, so did all his hope.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my first fanfic here and first one in forever. English is my second language so please forgive any errors.

Sitting in the corner of the ICU room, Buck watched the still figure on the bed. He had been here for most of the time seeing the other people come in and out of the room at different times. There was only one person he had not yet seen. One person that was most important. Ok, no definitely two people that were most important that had not come. Buck was the reason they were not there, Buck had lost him. He is dead because Buck left him and because of that Christopher was not here now and because of that the only other person that would be able to get the man in the bed to wake up was not here. Buck was the reason that they were not there and he could not fault them for hating him. He closed his eyes wishing that there was a way to turn back the time. A way to make everything right again. Eddie should be with his son, should be happy. He should be holding his precious child in his arms, not be in this situation. 

At the moment the team looks broken, Cap, Hen and Chim all three sitting vigil next to the bed. Hen looked over to Cap, “You think he will ever get pass this? Will ever be able to forgive Buck?” her voice is quiet and Buck strains to hear what she said.   
“They have come a long way Hen.” Cap is firm in his believe, “Buck has grown a lot since he started with us. I’m sure they will be able to work pass this, like they have done with everything else.”   
Quickly scanning the room, Chim shook his head, “I don’t know Cap, think this might be the end of this bromance.”  
Buck bowed his head, “I think you may be right.” Without waiting for a response he got up and left the room.  
Hen shook her head, “I don’t care if they are friends or whatever, I just cannot see him die. He just has to make it.”   
“If he doesn’t, I’m afraid we will lose both of them.” Picking up the hand in front of him, Cap squeezes it tenderly, like a father would with his own son. “If Eddie does not forgive Buck, we will never see him again.” He sighed, “I recognized the look in his eyes when he collapsed, he is going to run, run and we will never see him again.” Silence hung in the air as he completes his thoughts, “It’s what I did.” 

Buck walks back into the room, everyone has left now. Visiting time is over. It was the one thing the hospital was strict on, ICU visiting times were only for an hour in the morning and an hour later at night. And until he was settled in his own room the ICU area was strictly forbidden. Not that Buck really cared. Looking down onto the bed Buck shook his head. “Oh you screwed up big time,” he berated himself. “You should have known that nothing would come between Eddie and his family. Should have known that no one was more important to Eddie than family. And you have never been part of that family, not really.” Making himself comfortable in the corner of the room again his thoughts drifted back to the last few days.

After the water receeds:  
Buck looked up at the sky, he was drifting above the water. It was a lot calmer now, and it feels like he has been in here for hours, although he could not tell you exactly how long it has been. His legs were cramping, his left leg feeling heavy and unwilling to function properly anymore. He could also feel his head pounding, the stress of the situation making it even worse. Closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath he felt his heart restrict when he heard another cry for help. He turned and looked at the little boy barely holding onto what looked like a piece of a door drifting further into the ocean. He felt so tired he did not know if he had the strength in him to try and save anyone more, but that thought only lasted a minute. Shaking his head, he had to get his mind-set right had to let go of all these thoughts in his head, he had to save this little boy, he was the only one around. He slowly let go of the breath he had been holding and turned to start swimming out again, aiming for the little boy. He had to get the little boy, had to save him at least, he had already seen so many people lost to all this water. Slowly swimming towards the little boy, he felt his legs starting to spasm, but he pushed through the pain and eventually reached the frightened boy.   
“Hello young man, how are you doing?” he smiled at the tear stained face.  
“I want my mommy” came the soft reply.  
“Was she with you?” Buck held out his arms to the little boy who immediately grabbed him around the neck. A stab of familiarity spiked through Buck taking his breath away.  
“No, I was here with some of my friends. I don’t know where they are. I don’t want to swim anymore.” The boy sniffed and clung to Buck.  
“Ok, now you hold on tight and I will do the swimming from now on,” Buck swallowed down a moan as he started slowly making his way towards the beach. Relief flooded through him when he saw the rescue boat coming towards them. “Help,” he waved his one arm in the air, the other still tightly around the little boy.

Bobby felt his heart go out to Eddie, he knew what if felt like loosing a child. Hoping that his friend would not need to go through this pain. But so-far they have not found any signs of either Christopher or Buck. They had started off at the survivor’s tent looking if there were any sign or word of the two lost souls of Station 118. But nothing, the team had then headed out taking charge of one of the rescue boats, picking up one person after another. The water had receded back and now they were going through the debris that was drifting further into the ocean trying to save a few more people that were swept back into the ocean. He could see the stress in Eddie’s posture, but they were unable to only go out looking for their lost only, there were so many other people that needed their help now. There was no way that they could pass anyone in need. They had been going about this for almost three hours now. Saddest part was when they had to pull out the bodies of those that did not make it. Eddie’s heart giving a double beat every time they get near a child with dark hair, not knowing who it was. But they had to believe that Buck would have been able to deal with the emergency. He was well trained for emergency situations and although he was not near to full strength he should have been able to cope. 

They returned to the open ocean again, after yet another drop-off. Eddie again making his way to the boat after an unsuccessful search for his little boy amongst the newly saved people. Since he got the call from Carla to ask if they knew if Buck and Christopher was ok he had far away. She had told Eddie that Buck called her earlier to find out if she found the perfect gift for her new grandson, as they were at the pier and they had just caught the biggest teddy. Christopher insisting that they give it to Carla to give to her newest addition to the family. Eddie’s attention had been divided between the need to look for his boy and his sense of responsibility. Bobby had ensured him that going out and looking for survivors were the best way to go about finding his son. There were so many teams out there and he was not going to find them by trying alone. Word had spread through most of the stations, looking for this little boy.   
Hen gave Eddie an encouraging smile, “For all we know Buck and Christopher is snuggled in front of the tv waiting for us to get back.”  
Eddie gave a half-hearted smile and shook his head, “Knowing Buck, he will be out here on one of the boats saving more people.” Not sounding as positive as the words spoken. “If he made it” came the small afterthought.   
“Don’t think like that Eddie, we will find them.” Bobby gave his shoulder a warm squeeze.   
Chimney kept his eyes out over the water, he could feel the stress running off the occupants on the boat. He scanned the water, there was now only a few people still in the water, and most of the recoveries that was made was the ones that they did not really looked forward to and the chances of finding any more survivors were getting less and less. And he secretly hoped that Hen was right, that Buck and Christopher were sitting cuddled together somewhere safe. His eye caught some movement to the right and he steered the boat into that direction, his eyes lighting up when he saw the familiar blond hair above the waves. “Got them!” he shouted out getting everyone’s attention.   
“Where” Bobby joined him, Eddie and Hen making their way to the front of the boat.  
“There!” Eddie shouted, pointing towards the two figures struggling to keep above water. “Faster Chimney they are struggling.” The fear and excitement clear in his voice.  
They were about 20 feet from them, when they saw Buck going under coming up again coughing up water as he surfaced. Chimney pushed a little harder, and as they were about five feet away, Buck went under again, Eddie jumping in without any thought, swimming towards them. 

Buck felt relieve as he recognised his team on the boat, a little apprehensive but knowing that his struggle is done, and now he can let go and let his team take over. He felt himself go under, the little boy in his arms kicking to stay above water, he pushed with all his strength and surfaced again. Then he saw Eddie diving into the water, all he now had to do is hand over his precious cargo to Eddie and he can relax.   
Eddie barely had a minute to get his disappointment under control when he felt the little boy been pushed into his arms. He clung to Eddie the way Christopher did when he was scared, and Eddie felt a piece of him die. The distress clear in his features as he turned to the boat where Hen and Bobby was leaning over the edge to take the little guy from his arms. Sympathy clear in their expressions as they looked at him, knowing that the pain was visible in his eyes.   
When the load was taken from him, he turned to ask Buck where his son was, but Buck was gone. “Buck” panic clear in his voice. “Shit”, he took a deep breath and dove under the water, his eye catching the pick shirt Buck had on.

~~Back in the ICU Room~~  
Buck stood looking out over the ICU, seeing the visitors slowly making their way to each cubicle. Maybe this visit will be the one… He got his hopes up a little seeing Carla walking in a small hand in her own. Disappointment cutting deep as she turned around to her daughter, “Won’t you and Ben wait for me, I’ll be quick”. She kissed her grandson on the head and then looked towards the room where Buck disappointedly turned back from the window taking a seat on the far side of the bed. Knowing that Carla will be sitting where she always did during her last few visits.   
“Hey”, Buck said softly as Carla took a seat next to the bed.  
“Hey Bucky,” Carla’s voice as soft as she picked up the slack hand on the bed, brining it up to her lips for a soft kiss. She looked at the pale face pillowed on the bed. The tubes and wires running to the various machines next to the bed. It has been 3 straight days with no signs of movement, no signs that he is waking at all. “Oh Bucky, how do we fix this? Why don’t you tell me, just let me know what you need to wake up.”  
Buck sighed, “I need Eddie, I need Christopher, need them both.” Standing up he looked down at himself. “But that will never happen, he is gone Carla. He’s gone and that is on me. Eddie will never forgive me.” He turned around looking out over the ICU again. “I don’t want to wake up.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the great remarks ;-)

“Hey Eddie,” Lena spoke as she sat down next to him. It seemed she was the only friend he had here these days. 

“Hi”, He looked up, face still drawn with stress lines. Dark circles under his eyes, signs that he has not been sleeping well. 

“Get any sleep last night,” she wanted to make light of the situation, wanted the tight feeling in the station to clear. She started here straight after the tsunami after Station 136 was temporarily closed as most of the guys had one or the other injury and their Captain was now put on early retirement. But up to now even 118 had yet to be called out to any situation. She knew that it was Captain Nash that had basically taken the station off rotation. They were all still dealing with the aftermath of the tsunami and he felt that if there was anything major they will assist, but minor things could wait.

Eddie smiled sadly, “Not much, nightmares still not going away.”

“You know what is needed,” Chim stood behind him frustration creeping into his voice.

Eddie got up his back stiff, “I told you guys, it ain’t gonna happen,” he stomped off without any further word.

Lena got up as well, “You guys are not making it easier for him, you need to stop pressuring him to go to the hospital, he’s not ready.” 

“Sometimes what we need is not priority or what is hard for us still needs to be done to help someone else. Buck needs him there.” 

“Not gonna happen,” Eddie says again as he walks pass them with his bag in hand clearly leaving.

“Eddie,” Bobby stops him at the door, his voice low, calming. “Just think about it. I know how you feel, the anger, blame” clearly referring to the loss of his own children, the anger at what had happened, at the unfairness of it. “But I also know the guilt. The way it eats through your soul, the way it takes away your will to live.” 

The soft spoken words rip through Eddie like no amount of screaming would have. He drops his head, shaking it slowly, “I can’t.” comes the soft reply.

“He is giving up, I can feel it Eddie. Every time I get there, I see him slowly fading into nothingness.” Bobby’s plea is unspoken, “No matter how many times we reassure him, he needs to hear it from you.”

Eddie lets go of his breath slowly, “I don’t know. I cannot promise anything.”

Bobby lets him go, closing his eyes. At least that was not a straight no.

~~~  
Sitting in his car in the parking area of the hospital, Eddie closes his eyes, he could still see Buck disappearing under water. 

~~~In the water again~~~  
Grabbing hold of Buck’s shirt, Eddie kicked to return to the surface dragging the deadweight of his friend with him. As soon as they broke the surface Bobby and Chimney was there to help, pulling Buck unto the deck of the boat, laying him on his side Bobby pounded him on the back trying to get him to cough up the water, but nothing happened. 

Eddie got out of the water and sat on the edge of the boat, his heart heavy as he watched Hen starting with CPR. Buck had to make it, he must find out what has happened to his little boy. He felt someone moving to his right and saw the little boy looking quite worriedly at the scene playing out in front of them. 

“Is he going to be ok?” his big eyes never leaving the scene as he almost whispered.

“It is Buck, he has to be ok.” Bobby answered next to them. Just then Buck coughed, and everyone breathed a little easier with him.

Hen sat back a little, giving Buck enough room to breathe and soon he was starting to try and come up, “I have to go,” his voice sounded rough, as if he had been shouting for days. 

Hen gently pushed him back down, “we’ve got you now, you can relax.”

But Buck did not want that, he pushed back up, “I have to find him,” he exclaimed again. This time taking Hen by surprise as she lost her balance and ended up on the floor looking up at him. He was almost at the side of the boat when Bobby grabbed him from behind.

“Calm down Buck,” Bobby always the voice of reason held on tightly even as Buck started trashing. “You are safe now and we got the boy as well.” This seemed to aggravate Buck even more, shaking his head he tried to loosen the grip that Bobby had on him.

“Let me go,” Buck struggled again but Bobby could feel the fight in him starting to lessen.

“Find who,” Eddie was suddenly in front of Buck, gripping his shoulders, “where is Christopher?” the stress in his voice clear. Buck turned towards Eddie when he heard him speak but his eyes were void, as if he was looking right through Eddie. Eddie felt frustration creeping up in his spine, he needed to find out what has happened to the only person that has ever meant anything to him. He shook Buck a little harder, “Buck where is Christopher, where is my son?”

Hearing the anger straining Eddie’s voice, Bobby pulled Buck backwards, away from Eddie. “Eddie calm down,” Bobby demanded softly.

“I need to know where my son is,” Eddie ground out through tightly clasped jaws. He shook Buck once more trying to get him out of the hazed state he was in. 

Buck turned his gaze back to Eddie, recognition slowly making its way into his eyes, “Eddie?” he gasped and then it felt like all the fight left his body and he sank to the ground.

~~~  
Closing the ambulance door Bobby turned on Eddie, “If you ever, and I mean ever, do that again you will see the back of Station 118 even before you blink an eye.”

Eddie held his fists tightly to his side, he knew what he did was wrong, but the anger he felt had overridden all other emotions. He only realized that he had punched Buck when Chimney held him back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it. I just need to know where Christopher is.” Eddie suddenly felt very tired.

Taking a deep breath, Bobby calmed himself down, he knew exactly how Eddie felt. He had also overstepped so many boundaries when he lost his family. He looked down at Eddie as he sat on the side of the road, “He is in shock and his mind is not clear at the moment and if the bump on the back of his head is not helping much either. I’m sure as soon as his oxygen levels are higher, and he has time to think he will be able to give you more information. Hen and Chimney will let us know if he recalls anything and in the meantime, I will go with you to the tents, and we will find him.”

Nodding Eddie got up, “I don’t know what I will do if I don’t find him.” 

“Don’t think like that Eddie, you have to remain positive.” Placing his arm around Eddie’s shoulders Bobby guided him towards the first tent where people were gathered looking for their lost family members. “The Buck I know would have died before he let anything happen to your son. The fact that he is still alive only tells me one thing and that is that Christopher is somewhere out here, waiting for his dad to come and fetch him.”  
~~~  
This was a waste of time, it has been the fourth tent that they have been through and still no joy. Eddie has been on his phone to everyone he knew, everyone that might have received news of his little boy if they could not reach Eddie himself. But nothing. It was as if his little boy had disappeared off the face of the earth. The only person that should know something has not said a word. They had just spoken to Hen and Chimney who will be joining them in their search shortly. Buck had still not woken up, and Eddie felt a bit of regret not knowing if he might have worsened his injuries with the blow he dealt him. He looked over toward the black tented area where people were walking out crying, holding onto their loved ones while tears streamed down their cheeks. Maybe he needed to face the facts, that just maybe his beloved son is no longer with him. Maybe that is why Buck is not waking up, maybe he knew he is responsible for Eddie losing his whole world.

“Don’t”, Bobby’s voice bellowed through his thoughts. “I can see where your head is going. Let’s go back to our base. Regroup from there. Maybe someone has been trying to get a message through to us and we have not heard anything.” Bobby started walking towards the truck not giving Eddie much of a choice to follow. “You know how horrible the networks are during such a tragic event.”

Eddie hung his head but followed none the less, it felt like he was just postponing the inevitable. He had a very bad feeling about all of this and in his gut if felt like he has lost Christopher already. His mind was still all over the place with questions that will never be answered. Why did he allow Christopher to go with Buck? He should have taken the day of and spent it with them. These were all questions that was not bringing him closer to anything, and he knew it will not change the fact that they are currently in this situation and there was nothing he could do about it now. All he knew was that his world is changing right in front of his eyes. And there was nothing that he could do about it now. None of these people would have been in this situation if they knew this would have happened. They make their living out of people’s tragedy and it sounds bad but that is the way life is. He just did not like the idea of being on the other end of the situation. He felt helpless and there was nothing that he could do about it.

He turned back his attention to the here and now as they pulled into the station. Seeing the ambulance already parked in the bay Eddie jumped out with the hope that maybe Chimney or Hen would have some good news for him. 

“Any luck?” Chimney asked as he walked to greet them.

Shaking his head Bobby glanced at Eddie, “Nothing yet, I thought we would get something to eat and then go back out. There is still so many places to look and if Christopher was not awake when they found him, they might not know who he is, so it is going to be a question of going to every hospital in the area and every fire station.”

“I’m going to start at the hospitals,” Eddie said turning towards his car, again determined to find his boy. 

“Wait up,” Hen walked into Eddie’s path, “You need to eat something, gather your strength and we need to plan this search. It is no use if we all scatter in different directions without a plan in mind.”

“I cannot sit here and do nothing.” Eddie was close to tears, hope fading fast. “He is out there alone and I don’t know where to look.”

The horn of another fire truck drew their attention to the street, and they looked as the truck from Station 87 drove up to the curb. The door opened and Eddie felt his heart drop as the captain lifted Christopher out of the truck. “There you go young man, thank you for keeping us company. As promised you are now safe and sound back at your Daddy’s station. Even if we kept bugging the wrong station.”

Christopher giggled in delight as the older captain gave him a little tickle as he hugged him. “Thank you, Buck said I would be safe with you.” Then he turned his eyes towards his dad and send him the brightest smile ever “Daddy!” he started making his way towards Eddie still holding tightly to the hand of the Captain as he did not have his crutches with him.

Eddie has never run so fast in his life, falling down to his knees in front of his little boy. He hugged him so tightly, almost squeezing the life out of him. Then holding him back at arm’s length checking him for any injuries. “I thought I lost you!”

“I was with Buck dad,” the utter confidence in his little boy’s voice was enough to make Eddie feel even more guilty for not trusting that Buck would have his back and would protect his son with his life. He smiled at his dad, “did you find him. He said that he had to help some more people and that I will be safe with Mr Sanders. That they will get me back to you. And by that time he was sure that he would already be with you and that you would have given him a hard time for not staying with me.” He was going a mile-a-minute, sounding like he had one of the most exciting days ever. “Said that it would be difficult for him to explain to you that he had to leave me.” Looking at his dad, Christopher sensed that something was wrong. He looked pass his dad, seeing Bobby, Hen and Chimney standing to one side, his eyes searching the area for Buck. Eddie swallowed hard as his son’s eyes return to him again, “Dad, where is my Buck?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly thank you for all the remarks. It is really appreciated.
> 
> For now put on your time-travel hats as it is a bit of a hop around today.

Eddie picked Christopher up, “We found him, and aunt Maddie is with him now.” Holding his little boy never felt this good. He knew there had always been ‘n good chance of him not making it through a call but had never given thought that his son might be taken from him. 

“Can we go and see him.” Christopher spoke softly against his dad’s chest where he was currently snuggling in. 

“Maybe tomorrow bud, I think we need to get you through a warm bath and into bed. I’m sure he is sleeping now anyway.” Eddie looked around when he felt Bobby’s hand on his shoulder. “I’m taking my son home,” he said making sure there would be no argument.

“I understand,” Bobby smiled sadly at Eddie, not sure what had caused the cold shoulder from Eddie. He turned to look at where his team were chatting and relating stories of the day to the other station. He would have to chat to the Captain and find out what had happened today. Again he gave Eddie’s shoulder a squeeze, “Just don’t leave it too long. You need to go and see him.”

“Sure,” without any further word Eddie got in the car and left, leaving a tense atmosphere behind.

Bobby walked to the others, seeing the question in their eyes, “He is a bit overwhelmed, think this day was just too much.”

“My apologies for the delay,” the older man extended his hand, “Captain Bradley Sanders from 87. When we picked up the little man earlier, I’m sure I heard Buck say 180.” Shaking his head he followed Bobby into the firehouse. “I’m sure you were all quite concerned.”

“To be honest, we only realized that they were in the middle of this when we found Buck about an hour ago.” Bobby said as he offered Bradley a cup of coffee.

“Yea, what a crazy day.” Bradley took a seat and then looked around the break room. “You guys quite settled here I see,” he smiled as the team filtered into the seats around the counter. 

“Yes, this is home for us,” Hen said as she took her cup of coffee, “we are more than just co-workers, we are truly family and that is why this has been such a shock.”

Giving an affirmative nod, Chimney came straight to the point, “Can you tell us what happened, Buck has still not woken up and before he collapsed it did not seem that he knew where Christopher was?”

“Ok, in order for you to get the full picture, I will have to give you a bit of second-hand information, as received from your little buccaneer with the big smile” Bradley said as he took ‘n large drink of his coffee.

~~~ After the first wave~~~

Trying his hardest to break the surface Christopher kicked with his legs as much as he could, thinking back to his swimming lessons his aunt took him to. Taking a deep breath he scanned the area looking for Buck, but he did not see him anywhere. He knew he needed to get to somewhere safe and that Buck will find him. As the water pulled him further inland he noticed a pole in the midst of all the water and fortunately he did not have to swim too hard towards it as the water kept pulling him there. He grabbed onto the pole and held on waiting for Buck. 

He kept on looking and listening for someone he recognized, then he saw Buck a little further upstream as he broke the surface. “Buck!” he shouted as hard as he could, and felt so relieved when he heard his name called out.

“Christopher, hold on I’m coming for you,” Buck seemed far as he shouted, but maybe it was just because everything else around them was so loud. 

“Ok,” he took a deep breath, knowing that he will now be fine. He liked swimming and all, but this was just a little too much. He kept is eyes on Buck as he struggled to make his way towards him.

“Grab my hand,” Buck shouted as he neared him, “come on, grab my hand.”

Christopher reached as far as he could without letting go of the pole, but it was just out of reach, “I can’t,” his voice broke as was Buck swept passed him. “Buck!”

“Hold on little man,” Buck said as he got hold of what looked like the roof of a car.

His arms ached and he just could not hold on any longer and suddenly he was under the water again. Panic started to make its way to his mind but then he felt two strong arms wrap around him. “Got you”, Buck’s breath was warm against his neck, and he felt safe for the first time since they started running on the pier.

Holding tightly around Buck’s neck Christopher closed his eyes knowing that Buck will take them somewhere safe. He could feel as they came to a halt, opening his eyes he saw the fire truck just as Buck pushed him up and out of the water. Taking his first deep breath he turned so that he was lying on his back, looking up at the sky. He waited for Buck to get on as well, but nothing happened. Crawling to the edge of the truck he looked down into the water, just as something hit the side of the truck where Buck was a few seconds ago “Buck.” The panic clear in his voice as he tried to get closer to the edge. 

Buck surfaced again coughing up water as he did, “It’s ok buddy, I’m ok.” He still made no move to try and get on the truck, the effort just a little too much for him at the present moment.

“Buck,” the fear in the his voice made Buck look up immediately, “please come up, I don’t want to lose you again.”

And that was all it took for Buck to push the wariness out of his bones, “I’m there now my man, just catching my breath.” With that he took hold of the truck and hauled himself out of the water mirroring Christopher’s actions of before and going to lie on his back. 

Christopher lifted his hand running it down Buck’s face, drying the saltwater from one side of his face, “You’ll be ok, kid.” The words spoke so soft and endearing that Buck smiled up at him. The worry lines suddenly appearing back on the little face he stroke the other side of Buck’s head, “You bleeding,” his little hand came away soaked in red. 

Buck lifted his own hand to the wound and felt the small cut at the back of his head, “just a scratch” he reassured Christopher and then sat up, removing his shirt and tore it apart for a makeshift bandage. 

They were sitting on the truck for no more than 5 minutes when Christopher heard the cries of a little girl, Buck’s attention also drawn to the girl. Christopher looked at Buck, knowing that he was going to put himself in danger to save the little girl, that was what hero’s do and Buck was his hero. He could see Buck looking at him with questioning eyes, and knew that if he asked Buck to stay with him he would. But he could not let another little girl be scared if he could share his Buck. “Go,” he said softly, “help her.” 

Buck smiled and gave him a hug, “I’ll be right back.” He promised and then got up to help. 

It felt like forever, but when Christopher looked again they were on the truck with more than 10 other people as well. His Buck was truly a hero, “You did good kid,” he smiled as Buck took his place next to him. Lying his head against Buck’s side he was rewarded with a big hug as Buck pulled him towards his chest. “Love you,” Christopher whispered as he started drifting to sleep.

~~~Back at Station 118~~~

“And that was where we found them,” Bradley smiled as he thought back to the picture of little Christopher sitting wrapped up in Buck’s arms. “My immediate thought was that they were father and son. And I thought it was such a heart-warming thing to see, as most of the people we came across were all scattered from their loved ones. Begging us to help them find someone. And here they were the picture of love, knowing that they had not lost one another.”

“They had been close since the first day they met each other, sometimes we wonder if Buck tolerates Eddie just to spend time with Christopher.” Bobby said smiling. 

~~~ Eddie’s house ~~~

“There you go,” Eddie tugged Christopher in, giving him a quick kiss on the forehead. “Love you buddy.” Eddie had not left his son’s side since he got out of the fire truck. 

“Love you too daddy,” Christopher said sleepily. Then suddenly his eyes flew up, “Is Buck going to be ok?”

“I’m sure that he is also just resting,” Eddie said softly, he did not want to think about Buck at the moment, his feelings are just a little complex and raw at the current moment.

“Will we see him tomorrow” he asked softly as he stifled a yawn. 

“Sleep now, then we can see tomorrow.” Eddie kissed him again.

Turning the lights down low, he stood at the door just watching his son. Maybe he will just bring his chair and keep ‘n eye on him a little longer.

Tomorrow will sort itself out, or so he hoped.

~~~Back at the ICU~~~  
Maddie looked at her brother, it had been four days now and still nothing. The doctors could not explain why he was not waking up. There was a big list of injuries that was true; severe blood loss, tick; lacerations all over his body, tick; three broken ribs, tick; severe concussion, tick-tick. But none of these were enough to keep him in the coma. There was brain activity, strong brain activity. This alone should be enough to get him through this. But nothing, the doctors said they needed to give him support, talk to him and give him time. She loved him dearly and knew that he loved her but he needed something more than she could give or he needed someone else. If Eddie could just get his head out of his …. Ok, no, she is not going there. 

“Buck, you have to wake up, please.” She stroked his hand. “You know I’m not one to beg, but I’m getting to the point where I’m really close to that.”

Buck sighed, sitting in the corner again, “Hey big sus.” He shook his head, “I’m sorry for worrying you so, but I just done know if I want to.” He got up standing next to her, “I can’t go on if I’m the reason Christopher is no longer here.” He stroke a hand down her hair. “And yes I know you have all said that he was safe and that he is alive, but why would they not allow him to come and see me.” 

Maddie felt a shiver run down her spine, looking at her brother again. “I know you don’t want to see me, I know you need to see Eddie.” Shaking her head she did not understand Eddie’s reluctance to see Buck. She knew that he had reason to be upset about the whole situation but Buck had ultimately saved Christopher so how long could he hold it against him that they were there. Nobody knew this would happen it was ‘n natural disaster. “He will come around, I know he will, even if I have to drag him here myself.”

~~~Outside the ICU~~~  
Eddie looked up at the building in front of him. He had been here for almost an hour and still had not been able to find the strength within himself to go in. His door opening up next to him almost made him jump out of his skin. 

“Shit, you scared the living daylights out of me.” He placed his hand dramatically over his heart. He looked at the new occupant and then closed his eyes at the utter look of disappointment on her face.

“So the whole issue is the 87th?” Seeing the shock on his face, her face softens, “Oh, honey don’t you think it is time the others knew.” Athena placed a reassuring hand on his knee. “Or at least Buck?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter...not too happy with it but hope it will be ok..  
Hope you still enjoying.  
Really love the last three episodes this has just got me hooked and can't wait for more.

~~~ In the ICU ~~~  
Maddie looks up as she hears the door opens, expecting to see one of the nurses there, she jumps up as she sees Eddie. His face showing clear signs of crying, Athena just behind him. Her first reaction was to lay into him for leaving her brother drowning in sorrow, literally. But Athena’s shake of her head stills her in her tracks, yes, even she is a little scared of Athena. So she sighs and stops right in his face, “If I didn’t know that you were the only one that would be able to help him through this, I swear I would throw you out of here so quick you would see stars.” Her voice soft enough not to make a scene but not too soft that Athena could not hear, “Even with her as your back-up”. She catches Athena’s eye as she speaks the last bit. 

Athena hold her hands up in fake surrender, “Oh, I’m here to make sure this hot-head does not back down from this one.” 

Eddie lowers his head at the soft reprimand. It is frightening to think that they are more scared of Bobby’s wife than of their own team-leader. Not that they did not have respect for Bobby, would follow him wherever he led, and would never think of not following through with any given order. But Athena just had that whole air about her, he was sure she would make most men run for their mommies. He looked at Maddie, could see the worry lines on her face and instantly regretted being such a coward. He should have come here the same night that Buck was admitted, no, strike that. He should have been there when the team went looking for Buck. “I’m sorry Maddie.” His voice is low.

“It’s not me that needs to hear it.” She turns to the bed where Buck is still lying, the ventilator giving every breath for him.

Eddie looks to the bed for the first time and then automatically takes a step back seeing the state of his friend. The shock of the machines and actually seeing Buck not breathing for himself is almost too much and he could kick himself again. He takes a few step towards the bed and then finds the chair, sitting down he takes Buck’s hand in his. “Hey Kid.” His voice is caught in his throat, tears slowly making their way down his cheek. He does not see the two women leaving the room, he only hears the high pitched wail of the heart monitor as it evens out. 

Buck had been standing watching them from the corner of the room. Seeing Eddie filled him with hope, but he still needed to see Christopher for himself. The first day they said he was fine, that he was with Eddie. But then there had been nothing since. He had not seen him, nor had anyone mentioned him again. And Eddie was absent as well. And that was the big red flag. If Eddie, his best friend did not come to see him then it only meant one thing. Christopher was gone. Now seeing him here, his face filled with so much grief it was clear in Buck’s mind. Nothing short of losing his son would fill Eddie with that much despair. And then hearing the soft words only ever spoken by his beloved Christopher was like a knife being plunged in his heart. “Hey Kid,” echoed in his ears as he faded away.

~~~Back at Station 118 – Night of the tsunami~~~

“Anyway as I said,” Bradley continued, “I could see there was a special bond between them. We loaded most of the people on.” He smiled, “first one on-board naturally was Christopher. Buck introduced himself and handed his precious cargo to me. Then he helped the other people on, we realized that the boat would not take them all and Buck did not hesitate to stay behind. There were three other people with him, two men and a kid about 16 years old, all a little banged up but able to wait a little bit. I was not very happy to leave Buck as I could see the head wound, but he assured me it was just a scratch.” Taking a look around the table he knew they all understood being left behind. “I promised him that I will take care of Christopher, and get him to his dad safely. But as I said when he introduced himself I thought he had said his station was 180. We had been leaving messages there for Eddie Diaz at every opportunity we could.”

“Easy enough to get it wrong,” Bobby tapped him on the shoulder as he placed a plate filled with sandwiches in the centre of the island. 

“I tell you that Christopher was not happy to leave Buck there. Said to me that he would rather say with “His Buck”. Buck however, quickly got him settled. Stating that he needed to help a few more people and that his daddy would not be happy with him if he put him in any more danger. It settled the boy very quickly and as he gave him one final hug goodbye, this little guy did the most precious thing I have ever witnessed.” His lips pulled up in the right corner just thinking of it, “He placed his small hands on Buck’s face and then ever so slightly said, “Love you, and come back to us Kid.” And Buck had the most brilliant smile on his face, returning the sentiment.” Shaking his head the older man looked to Bobby seeing the smile on his face as well. “I tell you in my years in the service, I have seen so many horrors and it is the moments like these that just puts the umph back in your step. I cannot wait to get back home to call my children and to tell them how much I love them.” Shaking his head, he had tears in his eyes, “I tell you we don’t say we love you often enough.”

“Yeah” Bobby could just picture it. 

“We then went to the field hospital where I decided that I had to at least keep my promise and keep an eye on the little fellow. I tried the station, left several messages but decided that my team could go without me as I manned the call centre at the VA Centre. They immediately went back to the same spot, but by then the wave had receded and we only found the two guys on the truck, they reported that the kid lost his balance and had fallen over the edge when the wave had struck and Buck had gone in after him without hesitating. That was the last we heard from him.” As he finished, Chim excused himself taking a call. “They searched the area but could not find Buck.” He shook his head sadly, “they did however find the kid about an hour into the search as the water level dropped. He did not make it. His foot got stuck between some debris causing him to drown.”

“Cap,” Chim’s voice broke the moment of silence, “It’s Maddie, Buck’s gone.”

~~~At the VA Hospital~~~

Buck woke up with a headache from hell. For a minute he did not know where he was, then the events of the day flooded back. “Christopher,” he sat up looking around the area. He was in a cot in what seemed to be a tented area. Must be the VA hospital he thought to himself. Assessing his injuries he felt the bandage on his head and he did feel a little groggy most probably the effects of the medication. Everyone around him was looking worse off than him. Closing his eyes he tried to remember what had happened. He could remember running with Christopher over his shoulder, getting hit by the water. Finding Christopher and getting to the truck. He remembered more people joining them. But then what. He took a deep breath, he had to remember. He opened his eyes as someone touched his arm. 

“You’re awake,” the nurse said as she looked at the bag of fluids that steadily flowed into his arm. He looked down at the point where the needle entered his arm. 

He did not even realize that he had that in his arm, “How long have I been here,” his throat felt like it was on fire. The shouting and seawater most probably the cause of this. He suddenly remembered his team finding him. “Christopher?” question clear in the one word. 

Smiling she took his hand, “Your sister and the team asked me to let them know when you wake up. They are out looking for Christopher now, and said that maybe you would be able to give a bit more information on where you last saw him. I will let them know that you are awake.” Not waiting for his reply she started walking back towards the station.

Buck swung his legs of the bed, lowering his head in his hands, willing his brain to focus. When was the last time he saw Christopher. He remembered the truck. The water. People screaming. Christopher reaching for him. Diving down to get rid of what held him down. Coming up for air. Diving down again, and again. Then seeing the fight leave the small body. Screaming for help which never came. Diving down again. Breathing air into the slack mouth. Coming up for air again but then getting hit by something and getting caught in the floating debris. Being dragged back to the ocean away from the lifeless body. He threw up next to the bed. Oh god he lost Christopher. Suddenly he could not get any air in his lungs. He needed to breath but it was as if something was pressing down on him. Pulling free from the line that was replacing his much needed fluids he staggered to the outside of the tent. What was he going to say to Eddie? How was he going to explain that he had lost the most precious thing in the world to his best friend? 

“Mr Buckley!” he heard the nurse’s call out his name. But he needed to get away, how was he able to face anyone after he had messed up so badly. “I tell you, he was here not a second ago.” She spoke into the phone as she looked out the tent, Buck ducking behind another temporary cot that was set up. “I don’t have time to search for people, there are so many others that need and want my help.” She sounded stressed and tired and Buck felt bad that he had to put this on her as well. Just another thing to add to his big list of screw-ups. He tried to get up, but just the thought of putting one foot in front of the other was just too much. What did he think he would accomplish anyway. Where would he go to? What more was there out there that he could screw up before it was enough? He was better off staying out of the way. Better off not being here. Why could it not have been him? Why did it have to be Christopher? Throwing up again Buck sagged down unto the wet ground. His head was bursting out of his skull, Felt like the world was closing in on him and he just could not take it any longer.

It would be over two hours later that they find him. His body totally shut down. He was severely dehydrated, his blood loss worsened because the IV line was pulled out so roughly. Hypothermic setting in due to the fact that he been lying on the wet cold ground, barely breathing on his own. They had rushed him to one of the bigger hospitals, on the way he had crashed the first time with them just getting him back. Then it happened a second time as they pushed him into the MRI Scanner. They got him back again, but they had to intubate him that put him on the ventilator that was currently breathing for him.

Bobby was the first to sit vigil next to his bed. They had send a message to Eddie when they first heard that Buck had left the VA Hospital, the text had however not gone through, meaning that Eddie had yet to charge his phone. He typed the new message as he hoped that Eddie will get out of the dark mood he seemed to be in when he left yesterday. ‘Found him. He is in ICU. It looks bad. Please come if you can.’


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lets hear from Eddie...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the remarks ;-)

~~~Outside the ICU~~~  
Eddie sat with elbows on his knees, head in his hands. So many thoughts were running through his head. The last few days had just been one hit after the other. He was so tired, he had not slept well one night. He knew when he spoke about the nightmares were keeping him awake, the team thought that it was Christopher with the nightmares. But they were wrong, if anything Christopher was sleeping quite well, it was he that have been plagued by the nightmares. They ranged from him finding Buck and Christopher both dead in each other’s arms, to him actually strangling Buck because his son was dead. Then there were a few where he would be the one that lost Christopher with Buck telling him he was a failure. But the worse were the once that centred around the 87th, seeing Christopher being taken and he was powerless to do anything about it.

The team was now all there, awaiting news. Oh god, how many times were they all going to be here in the same position, waiting for news on the same person. Firstly it was the bombing, he could still see Buck under the truck and all of them unable to help him. Then they all watched as Buck struggled and worked so hard to get back. They had all been trying in their own way the help him through this. And the only time he really saw Buck pick up and show a little bit enthusiasm was when Christopher was with him. He had picked up on it very quickly and had left Christopher with him whenever he could and the two of them had really grown tight. Then the party happened and Buck almost died, again. Pulmonary embolism, a silent but deadly killer. He remembered having Christopher looking him with big eyes asking him if his Buck was going to be ok. He again had to explain to Christopher how his Buck had almost died again. Then he had done something very horrible. He had kept Christopher from Buck. Did not want to put Christopher in that situation ever again. He wanted to protect his little boy from experiencing yet another loss. And in doing so he had taken Buck’s lifeline from him. No wonder he had looked so shocked when he had dropped Christopher off that morning. But here they are again. 

Everyone kept giving him these looks as if he was about to break any second and ok maybe he was. He needed to know that he was not too late to make things right with Buck. He looked up as the door to the room opened up, a tired looking doctor making his way towards them. Eddie was up before anyone else even reacted, “How is he?”

“He is going to be fine,” The doctor smiled, “when he was brought in we had him scheduled for an MRI as you know. And again as you know with him crashing, we missed doing the MRI. It seemed that he had a small bleed on the brain and blood accumulated slowly which caused the pressure. We were able to alleviate the problem by draining the blood and we have stopped the bleed. I’m confident that he should wake up in the next day or two. I know that he has been through a lot but he is strong and I know that he has the support he needs to get through this.”

The tight strap around his heart felt a little lighter as he was pulled into a hug by Maddie. He knew she had the right to throw him out of the hospital after what he had put her brother through but like Buck, Maddie’s heart was just as big and forgiving. “Can we go and sit with him?” Maddie asked.

“I think the hospital has already got one room just for you guys,” the doctor said smiling. “You are welcome to go through to our high care room no 4, he has already be settled and the room is big enough if you guys would also like to join.” He looked at the remaining team members.

“Thank you.” Bobby said and took Athena’s hand. “Why don’t you guys go so long, we will get some coffee and sandwiches and be there in a few.”

~~~  
They had all been sitting in silence for most of the next hour. All keeping their eyes on Buck and now and again they would give Eddie a sideways glance. He had walked into the room and taken the seat next to Buck on the right hand side. Taking Buck’s hand in his own and then gently laying his head on their joined hands. 

He had been trying to find the courage to let the team in on his reaction the past few days. He knew it was something that he needed to not only tell Buck but also the whole team. He looked up at Athena and saw the encouragement in her eyes, as if she knew what he was about to say, “So when I moved here,” he started softly, suddenly attracting everyone’s full attention. “I was totally alone, yea I had my aunt, but I felt so alone here. I had no friends when I started at the LAFD. I fortunately made a few new friends and Christopher and I settled in our first apartment. I was just settling into life and then thought the next step would be dating. Which I was a little nervous about, my aunt however convinced me to do it. Said that it would be good for Christopher as well if he saw that his dad was actually living again. So I was set up by one of my friends and he was great on the first date.” He kept his eyes on Buck, just now and again glancing to the others missing the raised brows from both Hen and Bobby at the “He” he mentioned. “We went out twice more and it was great,” he swallowed hard. “We had never met at my place, I did not want anyone to get involved with Christopher. He had gone through enough with the move and his mom suddenly out of the picture that I just did not want to disappoint him if things did not work out.” He took a deep breath, and no one said anything as he squeezed Buck’s hand softly. 

“We made plans for the Friday night but my aunt could not look after Christopher at the last minute as an emergency came up. I phoned Philip and told him that we had to cancel. He was upset, said that he had already paid for the tickets to the show and I could not just cancel on him on the last moment. I apologised and told him I would refund him.” He glanced up at Athena, she nodded silently and he continued. “He rocked up at my place about three hours later, totally plastered. I don’t know how he got my address but when I answered the door he basically pushed me into the house and pinned me to the wall. I tried to push him away but he was drunk and stronger than I thought. He kept on saying that I was playing hard to get and that he had never worked this hard to get what he wanted.” He swallowed hard just thinking about this made his throat constrict. “I told him to stop that my kid was in the next room, he stopped for a second and then just pushed me harder stating that he might just like to meet the “Little me” and that it might just be a two for one deal.” Tears were now rolling down his eyes, the whole team stunned to silence. 

“Fortunately I have the bravest, little boy. He had locked himself in the bathroom with my phone and dialled 911.” Again his eyes turned to Athena, and Bobby knew that she must have been the officer that was sent out. “He was so scared and spoke to Buck’s Abby,” he smiled and kissed Buck’s hand softly. “She calmed him down and then said that she was dispatching an officer to the house. By then Philip had laid into me with his fists and had started making his way towards the bathroom. I fought tooth and nail, struggling to keep him away from my little boy. I did not believe that I brought this mad person into our lives. Then the door slammed open and Athena stood there and I had never felt more relieved than at that moment.” He smiled up at her and then looked over to the others. “She had him in cuffs and out of there within minutes. However, that was not the end of it as he continued to make a pest of himself. Showing up at the training academy and then just sitting out in his car at my apartment building. It was two weeks of utter terror. I ended up not going home for most nights, rather staying at my aunt’s house. Athena came to see me again after Christopher had phoned 911 again to ask Abby for the nice police lady’s number. He had phoned her to say that he was scared that the mad man was going to hurt his daddy. She got me to get a restraining order and the second time he was arrested he just told me that it was not the end. But I had not seen him again after that.”

Hen and Chimney gave him a comforting smile, but he could see that they did not realize what this had to do with everything that happened in the last few days. As if he could see the question in their eyes, he took a deep breath, “He worked at Station 87,” closing eye he heard the gasps throughout the room. “When that truck stopped in the road and I saw the number and then saw Christopher getting out of the truck.” He stopped breathing again, trying to calm his own throbbing heart. “I know it was not fair, but all I could think was how could Buck put Christopher in that situation. How could he leave him with people he knew nothing about.” He looked at Buck, slowly brushing his hand down his face. “I know it was not rational, especially as no one knew about this. But all rational thoughts were gone and I was back in the house with his body pressing me against the wall. And his threat of doing something to my son was still so fresh in my mind.” His voice breaking slightly as the tears threaten to fall. “I know Buck would do everything to keep him safe and he did. But just in that few minutes of thinking what could have happened had Philip been in that truck I actually hated Buck for putting me through it. For reminding me how vulnerable my little boy was. I knew in my mind that he did it to protect my son, to save his life but my heart did not want to see reason.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi - sorry for not posting sooner. RL getting in the way...but here you go...a little shorter than normal but hope to post again tomorrow. 
> 
> Thanks for the feedback - really appreciated. ;-)

“Edmondo Diaz,” Abuela’s voice was furious as she spoke to him over the phone, “you get you ass back to this house right away.” 

He knew that tone, that was the ‘you fucked up and need to get things sorted immediately’ tone, “Abuela, I’m on duty and cannot just leave at the drop of a hat.” 

“It’s Christopher,” she started again, and Eddie felt his heart drop.

“Is he ok, I’ll be there in a few minutes, let me just clear it with Cap,” he had been running towards Bobby’s office as soon as she said Christopher.

“You do that, and ensure to tell him that you will be off for the remainder of the day.” 

“What’s wrong, should I meet you at the hospital. Did he fall?” Eddie was running different scenarios through his head.

“No, I’ll see you at home, and don’t let me wait on you.” She put the phone down before he even had the chance to really find out what had happened.

“Bobby,” he sounded out of breath as he entered Bobby’s office, “there is a crisis at home. My Abuela just phoned to say I needed to get back now.”

Bobby stood up taking in the stress lines on Eddie’s face, he had been juggling work, Christopher and Buck for the last five days and it seemed to be taking its’ toll on him. “Is Christopher ok?”

“I don’t know, she sounded more angry than worried. Did not even give me anything more than “it’s Christopher’ and I needed to get my ass home and let you know that it might take the remainder of the shift to sort out.” Eddie combed his hands through his hair, a clear sign that he was taking strain. “Will it be fine, I don’t want to leave you guys a man short.”

“Go, sort of what you need to and let us know if there is anything that we can help you with. I know you have been between work, the hospital and home the last few days, so take it easy. I’ll speak to Athena and we will take the shift at the hospital tonight. Give you a bit of time to concentrate on Christopher tonight and maybe get a full 8 hours sleep.” Bobby escorted Eddie to his car, making sure that he was not stopped by any of the team. 

“You don’t have to, I’m sure I will have things sorted by tonight,” the thought of not seeing Buck tonight did not sit well with Eddie at all. Since he had been to the hospital the first time, he had been spending every minute there when he was not at work, or did not have to take care of Christopher. 

“Look, I know you feel you need to be there, but Christopher needs you now.” Bobby gave his shoulder a warm squeeze as he opened the door to Eddie’s car. “Let us know if there is something we can help with.”

“Ok thanks Bobby,” Eddie got in the car, thoughts still mingled in his head, “I’ll be in touch.”

The whole way home, he kept wondering what had happened. He knew that he had been sort of neglecting Christopher in the last three days. No that was not true. He was with him at every single moment that he was not at school and Eddie was off duty, except for the fact that they had been sleeping at his Abuela’s house and Eddie had been going to the hospital as soon as Christopher had fallen asleep. Knowing that there was someone to watch Christopher while he slept gave him the opportunity to spend at least three to four hours sitting next to Buck’s hospital bed, going back home and getting a few hours’ sleep himself. It was already draining him and it had only been five days. Five days too long. Five days that Buck should have woken up. The doctors had assured them that after the previous close call Buck should be waking up in a day or so. But five days. Typical Buck, always having to do overdo everything. There was no reason for him not to wake up. Everything was fine. Well as fine as it could be if you did not breath on your own. If some machine had to do the basic part of living for you. 

The doctor’s words to one of the nurses still echoed in his mind, “Maybe he does not want to wake up.” He had overheard the doctor when they had left the nurses station and he had just turned back to ask something else. The words stopped him in his tracks, made the world tilted on its axis. Why would Buck not want to wake up? 

Before he could ponder that any further he stopped in front of the house. That was a question that had kept him up for most of last night and he still had not known how to bring that up with the doctor to ask why he would say that or to Maddie so that she could help him figure this out. Buck had his life ahead of him, he had people that cared for him and loved him. He looked up and realized he had been sitting in the car for a few minutes too long when he saw the door opening and Abuela’s frame in the doorway. Time to face the music, he thought as he got out.

“Abuela, what is wrong.” He stopped in front of her and could see her expression was not a pleased one.

“You silly young man,” she scolded him good naturedly, her tone more exasperated than full on angry, “Did I not tell you to not lie to that little man in there.” She turned him around, steering him to the chairs on the porch. 

Taking a seat, Eddie felt a little relieved that at least it was not a serious injury that had his Abuela so worried. “Lie about what?”

“His Bucky,” came the reply followed by an annoyed sigh. “When he came back from school, I put on one of his favourite movies while I made him some lunch. Then I found him sitting in front of the tv with tears running down his face as he watched Finding Dory. Not the best movie to show him after what the poor child had to go through, I now realized,” she shook her head and smiled sadly. “When I asked him why he was crying he looked at me with those big brown eyes and said, “Abuela I think I lost my Bucky.” Her voice now filled with emotion and Eddie could not hold back the tear that slipped out of the corner of his eye. “I asked him why he thought that, and he said that you kept telling him that Buck was ok but he does not know if he should believe you as you have not taken him to Buck. That if Buck was really fine he would not have waited so long to come and check on him.”

Eddie let his head drop, running his fingers through his hair again. He had kept Christopher from seeing Buck to spare him seeing Buck so lifeless. Keep him from seeing all the machines that was keeping Buck in this world. There were so many things that his little boy had to go through during the tsunami that he wanted to save him for having to go through this as well. But it seemed that it had the opposite effect on his little boy. “What do I do now? How do I spare him from all this pain but still show him that Buck is with us.”

“The problem my son is that Buck is not with us, and that little boy thinks it is because of him. That he is the reason that Buck is not here now.” She took hold of his hand, “You go and visit him at night because you need to know that he is still alive, because you love him.”

“Abuela, that’s not why,” Eddie started to disagree with her.

“Hush child, this old woman can see the way that you look at him. The way you worry for him.” She smiled softly, “Don’t you think that Christopher loves him too, needs to see that he is fine. Needs to help Buck come back to you.”

Eddie knew what she said was true, he had realized that he loved Buck more than he would just a friend. But those were too complicated feelings to try and sort out now. All that mattered at the moment was for Buck to come back to them. He knew what he had to do, “Is he in his room?”

“Yes, after we spoke he said he wanted to play with his lego’s so I left him and phoned you.” 

Getting up, Eddie stood close to his Abuela, pulling her head against his side, “Thank you for putting up with me,” he bowed and gave her a quick kiss on the head. “I’m going to have to allow him to get hurt for everything to get better again, aren’t I?” As he said it, he knew that was how life worked.

“Sometimes it is the only way we grow,” she smiled up at him. “But you will see, just like child-birth, the pain is always worth the beauty that comes from it.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies...had a wedding this weekend and have been celebrating with the family....
> 
> So here is thd second last chapter of my first story . Hope you still enjouing it as much as I loved writing it.

Eddie held tightly to the small hand in his as they made their way to the High Care area of the hospital. He felt the hand tighten in his and looked down as Christopher looked up at him. He smiled at his son, “you remember what I told you, you have to look beyond the machines in the room, ok. It does look very bad and that is why I have not brought you to come and see Buck. You have to promise me that you will not let that make you scared.” 

Christopher looked up at his dad nodding excitedly, “I remember.”

“Ok and let me know when you want to leave, anytime, ok?” Another nod was his answer. “All you need to believe is that he will be ok and that he is sleeping a little longer than he should.”

“Just like Sleeping Beauty?” Christopher’s voice peaked up, “Maybe he just needs a kiss like she did.”

Eddie could not help the laugh that escaped him, breaking the tension just a little. “Maybe that is not what we tell him ok.” Wondering why he had not thought of this, no, not going there now.

“Ok,” Christopher smiled softly and then hesitated when they came near the door, “What if he doesn’t want to see me.”

“Oh baby, no. Buck loves you so much and he will do anything for you.” Eddie kneeled down in front of him, picking Christopher’s chin up with his finger, “I’m sorry I kept you from him, this was not your fault. Daddy was being silly, and I said some things to Buck that I should not have and I think that he needs someone in his corner to fight for him, someone that will give him the courage to fight back and come back to us.”

Christopher nodded again and then looked at the door, “Ok I’m ready. Let’s get Sleeping Beauty to wake up.”

Eddie smiled and squeezed his hand again, “Let’s do this.” Opening the door he peaked in first before he opened the door fully for Christopher. Moving in he stopped first and then looked around the room slowly taking in all the machines around his Buck. His eyes followed the ventilator’s tube that wound its way into Buck’s mouth. Eddie took a deep breath as he looked down at Christopher, “Remember to not let this worry you too much. He just needs a little help.”

“Can you pick me up,” Christopher looked up at his dad, “I want to sit next to him.” 

“Ok buddie,” he picked Christopher up and then placed him on the right side of the bed where the least amount of lines were. Eddie smiled as he immediately crawled to the top and then laid his head softly on Buck’s right shoulder. 

Christopher looked up at Buck, lifting his hand and then touching his face softly, “Hello Kid, its going to be ok, you are going to be ok.” Then moved up a little more and whispered something in his ear.

Eddie watched in astonishment at the tender moment, he had not seen his son be so gentle and attentive to anyone, it was as if he knew that Buck needed something that only he could give. He kept his eyes on the monitor seeing the quick spike in the heart rate, and hope once again flared in his heart. He should have brought this little miracle worker days ago. 

Now Buck just needed to wake up, needed to come back to them. Taking a seat next to the bed in his usual spot he moved closer to the bed softly rubbing Christopher’s back. They made a beautiful picture the three of them, he had known and desired this for so long, to make this small family a permanent thing. And he sincerely hoped that he had not messed it all up by what he had done since after the tsunami to now. He hoped that he could make it up to Buck once he was awake and make him believe that he trusted him more than anyone ever. Even if Buck never want what he is looking for he will forever be his friend. He just hoped that it was not too late, that his son will not see ‘his Buck’ die. 

He kept on looking at his two boys, his whole world lying in front of him. Christopher was slowly drawing patterns on Buck’s chest, humming softly what Eddie recalled to be one of the lullaby’s that Shannon sang to him when he was having difficulty sleeping. He felt a tear slowly making his way down his cheek, Christopher definitely cannot loose Buck, could not loose anther parental figure in his life. Buck had to wake up.

Three hours later Bobby stood at the door watching the picture of their small family within the family. Taking out his camera he could not let the moment pass without making it last forever. Buck was still lying in the same position as when they left him this afternoon, now however, he had little Christopher on his right side his head pillowed on Buck’s right shoulder and his hand on Buck’s heart. Eddie with his arm draped over Christopher and holding unto Buck’s hand. Bobby posted the picture on the 118’s group with a small note, “Our boys will be ok”. He immediately regretted it as Eddie’s phone vibrated in his pocket as the message came through waking him up instantly. He looked at Buck first then to the door. “Sorry” Bobby apologised.

Eddie shook his head, “It’s fine,” his voice soft as he spoke.

“Let me buy you some coffee.”

Eddie looked at the two, both still as they were when he fell asleep. “I don’t want to leave them.”

Bobby gave a knowing smile, “Ok, I’ll go and get you something. I’m sure you have not had anything in the last few hours.”

“Thanks Bobby,” he got up stretching his legs. Then looked over at Buck again still dead to the world. He had such hopes that feeling Christopher here would be what he had needed to come back, but other than the initial spike in his heartbeat when they had entered and Christopher had spoken the first time but nothing since then. Looking down at Buck he thought back at Christopher’s simple solution, ‘Maybe he just needs a kiss like she did’. A smile broke through is face and for the life of him he did not know why he actually bent down and kissed Buck on the side of his mouth. He was disappointed when he pulled back, and almost jumped out of his skin when he heard someone clear their throat behind him.

Athena smiled, she had walked in as he started to lean down to kiss Buck, and she raised her brow and smirked innocently at him.

“Shit, no one was supposed to see that.” Eddie whished for the earth to swallow him whole. Shaking his head he had to smile as Athena just continued to smirk at him, “Christopher compared him to Sleeping Beauty, and I thought seeing as nothing else seems to be working, why not.” He looked back at Buck again. “Why is he not waking up Athena?” His voice suddenly turning very serious, “I don’t know what I will do if I lose him?” 

“He’ll pull through this Eddie, we just need to believe it and be here for him.” She held her arms open to him and without thought he stepped closer and allowed her to embrace him, hoping to draw as much strength from her as he possible could.

Bobby came back with a holder with three cups of coffee, and stood watching his wife supporting Eddie. He still could not believe how lucky he had been to find such a gem of a person. She does come across very strict and tough, but she was such a teddy bear on the inside. Yes a total tiger when she needed to be but that was when anyone were looking to hurt those she loved. He looked at Buck and he gasped as those blue eyes retuned his gaze. “Buck.” His voice broke the embrace and they all turned to look into the room as he spoke.

Eddie immediately ran to his side, “Hey,” his voice was low not wanting to startle his friend. 

Buck looked at Eddie, he wanted to ask what he was doing there, but he could not speak. His heart rate started spiking as the panic started rising. Why could he not speak and why could he not move his arm. He looked at Eddie and then moved his head towards his right side wanting to see what withheld him from moving. The only thing he saw was top of Christopher’s head, and he felt such relieve. Felt that he could finally breathe again at seeing the little guy next to him. Alive. But that he could not do as well, why could he not draw a breath? 

“Hey Bucky, calm down, you have a tube down your throat. Athena has gone to call the nurses and they will help you to remove it.” Eddie felt the tears of relieve that made its way down his face at the clear panic still in his friend’s eyes. 

No one noticed Christopher waking up with the commotion, he looked up and he smiled as he made eye contact with Buck. Lifting his hand the touched Buck’s face he spoke softly, the words calmed him down immediately “You’re going to be ok Kid.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can not believe that I have finished this.....
> 
> The epilogue is a little shorter than I would have liked but I hope it good enough.
> 
> Thank you all again for reading an leaving your comments and kudos.
> 
> Definitely going to do a second one, last episode opened up a big idea.;-)
> 
> See you soon...

It has been two weeks since he had been awake, and it had been a rollercoaster of emotions. He is still not able to sleep through a single night, the nightmares still plaguing him. That was why he was sitting here at after 4 in the morning, at a place that he had thought he would never come back to again. He had been seeing a therapist since he was in hospital, and he had been a great help, but even that had not stopped the image of Christopher’s dead eyes looking at him from the depts. And it does not matter how many times anybody and everybody tells him that it was not Christopher and that Christopher is fine, the image still haunts him. Closing his eyes he wished that he could go back and rather chose to go to the movies as he wanted to, but seeing those big eyes as Christopher asked to be taken down to the pier was not something he could say no to. 

He felt the presence behind him before he felt the hand on his shoulder, “Never thought I would find you here.” Eddie was grateful that both he and Buck had agreed to add the locator app on their phones. 

“Eddie,” Buck’s voice sounded as tired as he felt.

“When I woke up you were gone,” Eddie said as he sat down next to Buck. Sliding his hand up Buck’s back and squeezing his neck fondly. “Could not sleep?” 

Moving into the warm touch of Eddie’s hand he sighed, “Nightmares”. Eddie ran his hands up into Buck’s hair trying to convey the emotion that ran through him in the one touch. 

“Christopher?” Eddie asked softly moving just a little closer. At Buck’s nod he wrapped him into his arms. “I wish that I could take this burden from you, which I could make you believe that I don’t blame you, have never really blamed you.” 

“I know that,” Eddie’s voice was soft as he spoke, tears are falling down. He did not know when that will stop if at all. “I know it here,” he pointed at his head, “but I’m struggling to feel it here.” With that he held his hand over is heart.

Eddie could not help the intake of breath at the words, “Buck I…”

Buck placed a hand on his knee, “I know,” he smiled at Eddie and then leaned into his embrace, “and I believe you. It is just going to take a bit of time for my heart to believe it to.” 

Kissing the top of his head Eddie whispered, “I have the rest of our lives to make you believe that.” 

They remained sitting there watching the sun rise over the water, the ocean a stark contrast to the previous time that he had been here. The pier was almost back to normal again, all the debris had been cleared out. Most of the small shops along the pier was back running again, people had returned to their lives. Although there was still so many signs of what had happened if you look closely. A few people that kept their little spot on the pier closed, a few for sale signs on some of the others. Just like the buildings and the pier, the people most affected by this natural disaster had to heal. And each in their own way. Some had to rebuild their whole lives, some had lost too much to even consider rebuilding. Just as long as they had people on their side it would be easier. As long as they had a lifeline to hold onto so not to drown in the waters of life.

Turning his head in the embrace, Buck looked up at Eddie a smile in his eyes. Eddie smiled back stroking Buck’s face softly, he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, “You’re gonna be ok Kid.” And those few words was the lifeline that Buck will always hold onto. 

The END

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and splease send comments


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